If you’re a man and you’re about to have your first nude massage from a professional therapist, then you might understandably feel some initial awkwardness. If you have never really exposed your body in this way to strangers, then it can be pretty daunting to get naked in front of someone you just met.
There are a few obvious and not-so obvious rules that you will want to follow to ensure the experience goes smoothly.
The gender of your therapist
Let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way; it’s not gay to get a nude massage from a therapist who is the same gender as you – and some men will even swear by their male therapists. There is nothing inherently sexual about this kind of therapy as it is simply muscle manipulation designed to soothe you and provide therapeutic relief.
Most guys will opt for female therapists because that is simply their preference and there’s nothing wrong with that. The only person in the room is thinking of the experience as sexual or intimate is you – so get these thoughts out of you head and just get the damn nude massage.
Clean yourself beforehand
Obviously, you don’t want to show up looking like you just spent 6 weeks at sea. Wash yourself thoroughly before going to your nude massage so that your therapist will be happy to see you and can get started straight away. Don’t ignore the nooks and crannies of your feet as the therapist will likely scrub rub them as well.
Show up early
Before your nude massage, there might be some annoying admin stuff to do with the receptionist which will take time, so its best to arrive a bit early and get that out of the way. This will mean you get to your session faster and the therapist spends less time waiting. Show up 15 minutes early for your first session to allow time for paperwork, then when you become a regular you can show up 5 mins early.
Turn you phone off and put it away
This should be obvious – you can’t enjoy a nude massage if you’re scrolling Facebook at the same time. Turn your phone off completely so that there’s no chance of even a vibration disrupting the relaxing equilibrium the therapist is trying to create for you. Honestly, the therapist would probably hate you forever if you actually attempted to use a phone during the session.
Only get as naked as you want to
This is the part of the nude massage where you get naked and while it should be a simple exercise a lot of people find exposing their genitals a bridge too far no matter what the context is. If you are this kind of person, then you can wear your underwear and go through a process of taking them off under a sheet.
Honestly, just get naked and get on with it. It’s a nude massage so what did you expect anyway?
It’s okay to fart
Look, sometimes when you feel really relaxed, so do other parts of your body and they tend to let things slip out. A couple of farts will be fine, but if you start to fumigate the premises then you have probably got a bigger problem to worry about than a sore back.